Maybe it was postpartum, or stress from having a newborn and three other children along with a broken wrist and tailbone (funny,crazy story i will share in a later post). Could it be something more serious, blood test after blood test this diagnoses or that. Two years past and still no real answers to grasp onto. I was getting sicker and sicker each passing day. This is very emotional for me to talk about and even harder to share, I lost my self but not by choice. I kept thinking I would get better that waking up sick would go away, and then I got sicker than ever. Let me explain some things I experienced , extreme stomach pain, bloating, constant diarrhea, fatigue, irritability, brain fog, stomach distention from vitamin deficiencies but not for my lack of supplementation but a severely damaged digestive system. I would awake, and fall asleep with severe joint pain. I got to the point where I couldn’t get out of the bed in the morning without tears in my eyes. I developed skin problems like dermatitis. I lost 20 plus pounds, I was severely ill!
Now lets talk about the mental problems that I experienced. Embarrassment , I was so ashamed of my body. I got to the point I wouldn’t even look at my self when I changed or showered. I would wear big clothes to cover with. I dreaded summer having to wear swimwear. I wouldn’t even let my husband touch or look at me. I was tired of people making comments about how small I was, you need to gain weight, you need to eat, why are you so little? I was angry, angry I couldn’t get better, angry I was having to deal with this. Depression, I was depressed and experienced anxiety. I had no energy left not even for myself, I gave everything to my kids. They kept me going and I’m thankful for them, I might have given up if it wasn’t for them. I was scared and determined, determined to get better and find some answers.
Once diagnosed with celiac disease, I made a trip to the store and loaded up on gluten free foods. I did research,got advice and heard personal stories from others. Some people gave me hope, some (lets be honest if you have celiacs or gluten intolerance you know what I’m saying here) were annoying. They made the comments like aren’t you glad it was only celiacs because its so easy to fix you know just cut out bread. I had already learned its more than bread. Gluten is in seriously nearly everything from sauces, spices, juice, coffee, chips, makeup, lotion, and lets not forget the cross contamination. I also needed to heal my stomach damage which is another topic on another day. I started gluten free everything while my husband was at work, he works 5 weeks and home 5 weeks. So lets fast forward to a month after going gluten free. I didn’t expect to put on 20 pounds in a months time but I did and my husband came home to a completely different woman. That’s not the only change, I woke up and wasn’t sick. My husband said I have life in my eyes and face again. My reactions to things are different, my voice even sounds different. My mind is clear again, its not tingling and I can actually think and concentrate. My joints didn’t ache anymore. I am still trying to wrap my head around how sick I was and how I didn’t want to get out of bed some days because I felt so bad but I managed .That’s Jesus Christ, he carried me on my sick days. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13
This has been a wild roller coaster but I am so thankful to be on the road to recovery even though I have a long way to go with health, healing, managing things I let go while I was sick. My relationship with my husband was put on the back burner because I had nothing left to give him. I am blessed and thankful he stood by me understanding and willing to help in anyway he could and this has made our relationship stronger than ever. This is a process and I am going to share my progress, struggles, experiences,and our new lifestyle. I hope to show importance and awareness of celiac disease to others, while sharing my love for my family, life, food, and above all God. I had become a different person, but now I am back, to being me ALL DAY.
journey to health
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